This is a sponsored post by Regain.us. All opinions are my own.
I got married for the first time when I was 18, had my first child at 19, and divorced at 20. Now I can say with confidence that getting married at 18 was not a great decision on my part, I was not mature enough by any means. However, I got a beautiful, smart, strong daughter out of it who I am very proud of and love very much. Although it took many years, her father and I (and step-father and step-mother) co-parent pretty well.
So, why am I telling you this? Because I tried couple’s counseling with my ex-husband. AND I HATED IT!
Now, again, I was very young and immature and wasn’t willing to really work on my marriage. I was unhappy and wanted out and I didn’t care what any counselor had to say to me.
Again, I was 18/19 years old.
Now I am remarried to a wonderful and supportive man and we celebrated our 10 year anniversary in September 2018. It hasn’t been an easy ride, but we work hard at our marriage.
However, if I felt that my husband and I ever needed to attend couple’s counseling, I would not hesitate to make the investment to save our marriage.
I’m sure you are thinking to yourself…
Investment, doesn’t that mean a lot of money? I can’t afford that!
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Let’s take a realistic look at this for a moment and really consider the cost and the benefits. If you are serious about saving your marriage, it’s it worth a couple hundred dollars? Besides, divorce is WAY more expensive, especially if there are children involved and the couple can’t agree on anything.
Realistically, couples only need a few sessions (around 6 or so) to really make a lasting, positive impact on their marriage.
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Therapy vs. Divorce
We all know that divorce can suck, whether you have had one or not.
I was lucky enough with my divorce that my ex-husband and I were very amicable and able to proceed with our divorce through Pro Se and if memory serves correctly, it only cost us about $800 total. However, there are many situations where a Pro Se divorce is not possible.
According to Legal Zoom, the average cost of a contested divorce can cost anywhere between $15,000 to $30,000!
I personally know people that have spent this on divorce. It’s not a pretty site.
There are also costs beyond the actual divorce. Splitting assets, having to get different housing, furnishing a new home, purchasing 2 sets of everything for children, the list goes on.
Now, sometimes due to circumstances, divorce may be necessary (such as with abuse). However, there are many divorces that could be prevented and marriages saved with a little bit of counseling.
As with many situations in life, it can be difficult to have an objective view of a situation when you are directly “in the trenches” so to speak. Sometimes, couples just need that objective point of view to be able to realize their issues.
Couples therapy can help couples to create open lines of communications, set healthy boundaries with one another, improve their romantic relationship, or become united in their parenting methods.
On average, it takes couples around 6 sessions at about 40-50 minutes per session to really make progress. Each of these sessions can cost about $100. Which in reality, is far less expensive than getting a divorce.
So before you sign divorce papers, why not consider at least giving couples therapy a try?